In the year 666 on June 6 at 6:23pm, a little boy the age of 12 named Peter was walking down the yellow brick road in the town of Whoville and saw his friend Smarty. “Hello Smarty. How’s it going?” Asked Peter.
Smarty looked up at Peter with a look of evil in his eyes and answered “Not to good” in a deep voice.
“Oh, and why’s that?” Asked Peter with a look of confusion on his face.
“I just pushed humpty dumpty off of a wall and now he’s threatening to sue me!” Proclaimed Smarty in a high pitched voice that sounded like Justin Beiber.
“Why would you push him off a wall?” Peter screamed while angels danced on his tongue.
“Because he called me fat, so I killed his cat, and he hit me with a bat.” Rhymed Smarty.
“Speak of the devil look who it is.” Peter said in a whisper that was just loud enough for Humpty to hear.
“Ha look at him he’s in a wheel chair!” Laughed Smarty.
“You won’t be laughing when you find out what I did to your pet monkey Sprinkles.” Roared Humpty Dumpty.
“It’s Sparkles and if you hurt him I’m gonna…..” Screamed Smarty.
“Shut up I haven’t hurt your stupid monkey, well not yet at least.” Giggled Humpty.
“If you lay a hand on him I swear to God I will scramble you, cook you, and eat you!” Hummed Smarty.
“You can see him if you’d like. Gwabbles!” Called Humpty.
“Yes master Humpty?” Answered Gwabbles, Humpty’s evil assistant from the depths of hell.
“Fetch me the monkey.” Said Humpty.
“Yes master. Here you go sir.” As Gwabbles handed Humpty the monkey.
“Good now get out of my face.” Told Humpty.
“Oh my God what did you do to him?” Yelled Smarty with a girly scream.
“Well first I put a raccoon in his cage, then I personally beat the crap out of the raccoon, I then took the coon out of the cage and ate it, and finally I painted Sparkles pink, took a dump on his head and cut off his legs.” Answered Humpty in a happy voice.
“Oh, okay then. I don’t get the part about the raccoon but as long as Sparkles is alright that’s all that matters.” Said Smarty in a kind voice.
“Uh oh!” Yelled Humpty.
“What? What’s wrong?” Asked Smarty.
“Sparkles just bled to death because I didn’t stitch up the wound.” Humpty bellowed in a sad voice.
“That’s it time to die Humpty!” Horrifically screamed Smarty as he whipped out his nun chucks made from squirrel corpses.
“Let this be our final battle.” Proclaimed Humpty as he pulled out a long metal pole with a panda bear claw on each end. They fought for 666 days of non-stop brutality and horror, but finally it was over when Smarty took his squirrel chucks and drove them straight into Humpty’s eye sockets causing him to bleed to death as he fell to the ground. The Grim Reaper himself appeared to drag down to the dark fires of hell where only the most evil and vile of creatures go to parish and suffer for eternity. The Grim Reaper bent over and touched Humpty Dumpty on the forehead, and right when he did this, Humpty’s body exploded and his soul shot out of him and into the Reapers cloak. Then a fiery hole appeared on the ground and the Reaper was sucked into it. As the hole disappeared, Smarty had noticed that he had won the battle and that everything can go back to the way it was.
THE END
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Revised Paragraph
Revised Paragraph
It was a hot sunny day at the farm where Old Man Jenkins grew his apple orchard. But today would be different then most because today Old Man Jenkins neighbor Steve Hubs was hungry but couldn’t afford any food since he got fired from McDonalds. Steve hoped over the fence to the orchard while Mr. Jenkins was having supper. He then slowly snuck his way to the greatest apple tree in the orchard, because that’s where the best apples grew. Steve then took one of the most luscious apples he could find and bit into it. After all the time Steve took to find the tree and eat the apple, Old Man Jenkins had already finished eating his supper and came outside to pick some apples so his wife could make her delicious apple pie. Mr. Jenkins went straight to the great tree to get the most magnificent apples for the pie. When he got there he found Steve lying under the tree eating his apples. Old man Jenkins freaked out and yelled at Steve as he chased him around the farm. Steve tripped on a fallen apple and face planted into a tree. Jenkins started to scream at Steve until he saw the sad look in his eyes and felt bad for him so he told him he could’ve just asked him to have some apples and that he didn’t need to just come and steal them. Steve understood and promised not to sneak into his back yard ever again and left.
It was a hot sunny day at the farm where Old Man Jenkins grew his apple orchard. But today would be different then most because today Old Man Jenkins neighbor Steve Hubs was hungry but couldn’t afford any food since he got fired from McDonalds. Steve hoped over the fence to the orchard while Mr. Jenkins was having supper. He then slowly snuck his way to the greatest apple tree in the orchard, because that’s where the best apples grew. Steve then took one of the most luscious apples he could find and bit into it. After all the time Steve took to find the tree and eat the apple, Old Man Jenkins had already finished eating his supper and came outside to pick some apples so his wife could make her delicious apple pie. Mr. Jenkins went straight to the great tree to get the most magnificent apples for the pie. When he got there he found Steve lying under the tree eating his apples. Old man Jenkins freaked out and yelled at Steve as he chased him around the farm. Steve tripped on a fallen apple and face planted into a tree. Jenkins started to scream at Steve until he saw the sad look in his eyes and felt bad for him so he told him he could’ve just asked him to have some apples and that he didn’t need to just come and steal them. Steve understood and promised not to sneak into his back yard ever again and left.
10 words I've never used in a story (incomplete)
Stevo’s Big Day
On April 22, 2010, a little boy the age of 23 named Stevo was walking down Saints street in West Hollywood, California. While walking he came across a homeless man with a sigh that said “Dude woah can somebody tell me what day it is.” Stevo told him it was May 14th, just to confuse him a little. The homeless man said “God bless you sir.” and handed Steve a beer bottle. He took it and started to drink it, but when it touched his tongue he found out it wasn’t actually beer, it was cherry Kool-Aid the worst kind. Stevie freaked and whipped the bottle at the hobos head, knocking him unconscious. Some homosexual freaked out and dialed 9-1-1. When the police came they arrested Steve and put him in the back of the cop car. On the way to the police station Stevo got hungry and asked one of the cops if he had anything to eat. The cop pulled out his spider-man lunch box and gave him some watermelon. While eating his delicious and juicy watermelon a bumblebee must of came in the car when Stevie was getting arrested because it flew onto his watermelon and poor little Steve bit right where it was that’s when the bumblebee stung his tongue causing him to scream and even start crying. The cops pulled over opened the door and asked what was wrong. Steve said in a sad voice that a bee stung him. The cops laughed and made fun of him. They told him he was too much of a baby to go to jail, so they let him go. He started to walk back home when he saw the homeless man again. The silly hobo sprinted as fast as he could towards Steve screaming like an Arabian suicide bomber. Stevo freaked out and beat the badonkadonk out of him. The poor little hobo was knocked unconscious again
On April 22, 2010, a little boy the age of 23 named Stevo was walking down Saints street in West Hollywood, California. While walking he came across a homeless man with a sigh that said “Dude woah can somebody tell me what day it is.” Stevo told him it was May 14th, just to confuse him a little. The homeless man said “God bless you sir.” and handed Steve a beer bottle. He took it and started to drink it, but when it touched his tongue he found out it wasn’t actually beer, it was cherry Kool-Aid the worst kind. Stevie freaked and whipped the bottle at the hobos head, knocking him unconscious. Some homosexual freaked out and dialed 9-1-1. When the police came they arrested Steve and put him in the back of the cop car. On the way to the police station Stevo got hungry and asked one of the cops if he had anything to eat. The cop pulled out his spider-man lunch box and gave him some watermelon. While eating his delicious and juicy watermelon a bumblebee must of came in the car when Stevie was getting arrested because it flew onto his watermelon and poor little Steve bit right where it was that’s when the bumblebee stung his tongue causing him to scream and even start crying. The cops pulled over opened the door and asked what was wrong. Steve said in a sad voice that a bee stung him. The cops laughed and made fun of him. They told him he was too much of a baby to go to jail, so they let him go. He started to walk back home when he saw the homeless man again. The silly hobo sprinted as fast as he could towards Steve screaming like an Arabian suicide bomber. Stevo freaked out and beat the badonkadonk out of him. The poor little hobo was knocked unconscious again
Thursday, April 8, 2010
THE SCARDY STUDENT
The Scaredy Student
By Theodore
Today was Jonathan Fitzpatrick’s first day of middle school and he wasn’t very excited. John had always been home schooled because he’s afraid of almost everything from African Americans too rainbows, he was even scared of paper and water because he didn’t know what exactly was on or in them. It was hard to wake Johnny up because you couldn’t make a loud noise or even touch him, it didn’t help that he was a heavy sleeper. As she got closer to the bed she stepped on their dogs chew toy and it woke Johhny up. Johnny screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs. Mrs. Fitzpatrick freaked out when he did this and she turn and ran. It only got worse from there when she ran towards the closet and tripped into the closet door setting off the trip wire, which Johnny used to stop monsters from eating him. When something sets off the wire a large metal spike falls down onto the person who broke the wire, lucky for Mrs. Fitzpatrick it didn’t it her in the head like it’s meant to, instead because she was lying down the spike went through her leg and she yelled so loud that neighbors phoned the police. But perhaps worse of all was that John woke up in the worse way possible. After the first scream his dad ran upstairs to see what was wrong and Jonathan had grabbed his 9mm handgun that was on his shelf and when Mr. Fitzpatrick walked through the door John emptied the whole clip on him. The police heard the shots and ran upstairs to find his dad lying in the hallway covered in blood and his mom next to the closet with a spike in her leg and there’s little John with a big smile on his face and a gun in his hand. One of the officers made him put his gun down while another checked his parent’s pulses and amazingly they were still alive. Lucky for Johnny he didn’t have to go to school until tomorrow. The next morning, John’s parents were still in the hospital so one of the doctors had to phone the house to get him to go to school, he was already awake so he went to get it. When the doctor told him he had to go to school the bus had just pulled up and honked the horn, so little J ran out the door and went on to the bus. Once on the bus the bus driver closed the doors and drove to school. That’s when Jonathan noticed that the bus he was on was filled with one of his three biggest fears, mentally handicapped people. He screamed as loud as he could which made the special needs kids start to scream which scared poor Johnny even more. The driver stomped on the breaks and all the kids fell to the floor. The driver asked John what’s wrong and John asked why everyone was retarded. The driver told him it was called a short bus and it’s for all the mentally challenged kids in school. Right after he said that one of the special boys jumped onto Johns back and started yelling in his ear. As John whipped and rolled around the bus the retard just wouldn’t let go so John took drastic measures. He whipped out his switch blade and stabbed the kid repeatedly 12 times in the arm, back and once in the head. The kid fell off him… dead. The driver threw Johnny out the window and drove off as fast as he could. John got up slowly and started walking home. On the way home he passed by the park and thought it would be fun to go on the jungle gym for the first time in his life. This is where John will have to face his second biggest fear, large random explosions. Johnny wanted to try the slide first, what he didn't know was that his creepy uncle Yumatchy was trying to kill him for putting his sister, Johns mom, in the hospital. Yumatchy had planted a remote detonated mine at the bottom of the slide under the pebbles. Lucky for John Yamatchy over reacted and set it off when he was only a quarter way down the slide. The explosion blew off the bottom part or the slide and scared Johnny to death, not literally. John got up and started sprinting to the entrance. When he left the park, John slowed down a bit and started speed walking towards the police station. On the way he passed by some bushes, Jonathan is usually terrified of bushes, but he didn't really notice because he was only thinking about the explosions that nearly put him in the hospital like his parents. What he didn't know was that his crazy uncle Yumatchy was hiding in the bush knowing that he would have to walk by them to get to the police station. Yumatchy knew Johns biggest fear of all, someone jumping out of a bush screaming like a maniac with a large knife, and he was about to have his biggest fear exposed. Yumatchy leaped out of the bush and started swinging his knife. Johnny instantly made a fist and punched his uncle in the face, knocking him out and leaving him on the sidewalk. John went into the police station and had two officers come and take Yumatchy to prison for attempted murder. Johnny decided to go and visit his mom and dad in the hospital. When he walked in and saw a lady at the front desk. He asked which room his parents were in. The lady asked what there names were. Johnny told her "The Fitzparicks." The look on the womans face looked like she was about to go into shock. She looked down at John and said to him in a soft voice "Little boy I'm sorry to tell you, but your parents are both dead." John fell to his knees and fainted. When he woke up he was on a bed with a nurse standing over him asking if he was alright. He yelled no and ran out of the hospital with tears rolling down his face. He ran all the way home and into his room. John lied in his bed, pouring tears onto his pillow. He looked around and saw his parents blood stains on the floor and walls and he cried some more. He cried so much that he ran out of tears and started crying blood. He got up and walked out his back door to walk around his backyard. When he walked outside his crazy uncle Yumatchy was standing there with handcuffs hanging from his right hand. Yumatchy yelled in a angry voice that he escaped from the prison and he's here to get his revenge for killing his sister. Yumatchy pulled out a cage and opened it. Then eight wolverines jumped out and ripped poor Johnny to peices. Johnny died instantly.
THE END
By Theodore
Today was Jonathan Fitzpatrick’s first day of middle school and he wasn’t very excited. John had always been home schooled because he’s afraid of almost everything from African Americans too rainbows, he was even scared of paper and water because he didn’t know what exactly was on or in them. It was hard to wake Johnny up because you couldn’t make a loud noise or even touch him, it didn’t help that he was a heavy sleeper. As she got closer to the bed she stepped on their dogs chew toy and it woke Johhny up. Johnny screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs. Mrs. Fitzpatrick freaked out when he did this and she turn and ran. It only got worse from there when she ran towards the closet and tripped into the closet door setting off the trip wire, which Johnny used to stop monsters from eating him. When something sets off the wire a large metal spike falls down onto the person who broke the wire, lucky for Mrs. Fitzpatrick it didn’t it her in the head like it’s meant to, instead because she was lying down the spike went through her leg and she yelled so loud that neighbors phoned the police. But perhaps worse of all was that John woke up in the worse way possible. After the first scream his dad ran upstairs to see what was wrong and Jonathan had grabbed his 9mm handgun that was on his shelf and when Mr. Fitzpatrick walked through the door John emptied the whole clip on him. The police heard the shots and ran upstairs to find his dad lying in the hallway covered in blood and his mom next to the closet with a spike in her leg and there’s little John with a big smile on his face and a gun in his hand. One of the officers made him put his gun down while another checked his parent’s pulses and amazingly they were still alive. Lucky for Johnny he didn’t have to go to school until tomorrow. The next morning, John’s parents were still in the hospital so one of the doctors had to phone the house to get him to go to school, he was already awake so he went to get it. When the doctor told him he had to go to school the bus had just pulled up and honked the horn, so little J ran out the door and went on to the bus. Once on the bus the bus driver closed the doors and drove to school. That’s when Jonathan noticed that the bus he was on was filled with one of his three biggest fears, mentally handicapped people. He screamed as loud as he could which made the special needs kids start to scream which scared poor Johnny even more. The driver stomped on the breaks and all the kids fell to the floor. The driver asked John what’s wrong and John asked why everyone was retarded. The driver told him it was called a short bus and it’s for all the mentally challenged kids in school. Right after he said that one of the special boys jumped onto Johns back and started yelling in his ear. As John whipped and rolled around the bus the retard just wouldn’t let go so John took drastic measures. He whipped out his switch blade and stabbed the kid repeatedly 12 times in the arm, back and once in the head. The kid fell off him… dead. The driver threw Johnny out the window and drove off as fast as he could. John got up slowly and started walking home. On the way home he passed by the park and thought it would be fun to go on the jungle gym for the first time in his life. This is where John will have to face his second biggest fear, large random explosions. Johnny wanted to try the slide first, what he didn't know was that his creepy uncle Yumatchy was trying to kill him for putting his sister, Johns mom, in the hospital. Yumatchy had planted a remote detonated mine at the bottom of the slide under the pebbles. Lucky for John Yamatchy over reacted and set it off when he was only a quarter way down the slide. The explosion blew off the bottom part or the slide and scared Johnny to death, not literally. John got up and started sprinting to the entrance. When he left the park, John slowed down a bit and started speed walking towards the police station. On the way he passed by some bushes, Jonathan is usually terrified of bushes, but he didn't really notice because he was only thinking about the explosions that nearly put him in the hospital like his parents. What he didn't know was that his crazy uncle Yumatchy was hiding in the bush knowing that he would have to walk by them to get to the police station. Yumatchy knew Johns biggest fear of all, someone jumping out of a bush screaming like a maniac with a large knife, and he was about to have his biggest fear exposed. Yumatchy leaped out of the bush and started swinging his knife. Johnny instantly made a fist and punched his uncle in the face, knocking him out and leaving him on the sidewalk. John went into the police station and had two officers come and take Yumatchy to prison for attempted murder. Johnny decided to go and visit his mom and dad in the hospital. When he walked in and saw a lady at the front desk. He asked which room his parents were in. The lady asked what there names were. Johnny told her "The Fitzparicks." The look on the womans face looked like she was about to go into shock. She looked down at John and said to him in a soft voice "Little boy I'm sorry to tell you, but your parents are both dead." John fell to his knees and fainted. When he woke up he was on a bed with a nurse standing over him asking if he was alright. He yelled no and ran out of the hospital with tears rolling down his face. He ran all the way home and into his room. John lied in his bed, pouring tears onto his pillow. He looked around and saw his parents blood stains on the floor and walls and he cried some more. He cried so much that he ran out of tears and started crying blood. He got up and walked out his back door to walk around his backyard. When he walked outside his crazy uncle Yumatchy was standing there with handcuffs hanging from his right hand. Yumatchy yelled in a angry voice that he escaped from the prison and he's here to get his revenge for killing his sister. Yumatchy pulled out a cage and opened it. Then eight wolverines jumped out and ripped poor Johnny to peices. Johnny died instantly.
THE END
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Using a cd player
Hey my names Hung Lo and today I'm going to teach you how to use a cd player. The first thing you should do is find a cd. When you find a cd open the case by having the front picture right side up and putting your hands on each side of the cd. When you've done that put your thumbs on the bumpy side located on the right and pull the case apart. After you've done that you'll see the cd on the right half of the case. put ur index or middle finger in the middle hole of the cd, find a indent somewhere around the cd, push the middle circle and pull the indented part upward. Put the middle part of the cd onto the middle of the cd player with the picture side up. Then close the cd player and press the play button which is the one with the sideways triangle.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
the silly fairytale
Once opon a time there was a little girl named Little Red Riding Hood skipping through the forest with a basket full of muffins for her disabled grandma. She was a 11 year old white girl with a weight problem. She weighed 639 pounds but she still just wanted to make it to her grandmas house. When she got to her grandmas house she knocked on the door waited but no answer. She rang the doorbell waited but still no answer. She finally just walked in and saw that there was blood all over the walls and a trail leading to the kitchen. Little Red Riding Hood slowly made her way to the kitchen. Right before she went into the kitchen to see what happened she grabbed her grandmothers antique lamp. Her grandmother came around the corner and said How did u get in. It scared the bajeebers out of her as she gripped the lamp, swung around as fast as she could and swung the sharpest part of the lamp right into the left side of her grandmas head. Little Red Riding Hood dropped the lamp realizing what she had done, to bad the lamp was stuck in her old grannys head. As her grandma fell to the floor she ran to the phone in the kitchen, only to find that her grandma that the reason there was blood everywhere was because she was cooking something she killed. Little Red Riding Hood was curious to what she was cooking so she walked closer to see her grandpas head floating in a pot of boiling water. She ran for the door when she remembered her delicious muffins that she left on the table. She went to grab the muffins when she remembered she didn't close the door. She quickly grabbed the basket anyway and ran. When she got to the door she saw a Big Bad Wolf standing in the doorway. The wolf looked at her and charged after her into the bedroom. She was cornered and ready to die as the wolf crepped closer. All of a sudden the roof started to cave in above the wolfs head. Little Red Riding Hood screamed as hundreds of human bodys and bones came crashing down on to the wolf, crushing and killing it. She quickly stood up and slower made her way out of the room. She could see the front door was open and she sprinted outside. 7 seconds after she left the house she tripped over a branch, rolled down a hill, got knocked out on a large rock and went into the lake below to drown. The End
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